I have come to realize, that in challenging situations, challenging relationships in particular, we tend to list and categorize the things we wish the other side would change. "If only they would change this or that..." we say to ourselves. I have also realized, on the whole, people do not change. Especially if we ask them too. They dig in their heels and refuse to budge. In fact, it is we, ourselves who must do the changing. Do the work to makes things better, or at least bearable.
"Be the change you wish to see in the world." - Ghandi
If nothing else, in the end, at least you know you made the effort to make things better. This, I have found, can bring so much peace.