It’s ‘bout time I got around to doing the second assignment in the How To Be A Fat Bitch Ecourse. This assignment is all about reclaiming the word Fat. Let’s see what I can do, shall we?
Lesson 1 can be found here.
Fat, a word that should be a simple neutral descriptor, now carries the weight of untold numbers of insults. Fat no longer just means having large amounts of excess flesh. It means different things to different receivers and different speakers.
The speakers meaning can be heard in just the way the word is said. “Fat.” My paternal grandmother, a woman I generally found to be quiet and sweet, would describe someone else as “Fat”, making a down turned face and drawing the word out, making it sound sour and disgusting. This is my sweet little grandmother, who in her own way, managed to suggest I try to get on The Biggest Loser one Christmas visit. Now, I have no doubt that my Mimi loves me, so this particular conversation was laughable instead of insulting. However, her pronunciation of the word when I was much younger, told me I was one of those sour, disgusting fat people.
We the receivers, hear many things when the F-word is thrown in our direction. Lazy. Disgusting. Gross. Undeserving. Undesirable. Unlovable. Unworthy. For me, though I hear all of these things in the word, unworthy is what I have heard the most; what I hear to this day.
No more. I am ready to reclaim my sense of self. My sense of worth. My beauty. FAT BE DAMNED. The sour, disgusting word has been thrown around too carelessly with no regard for the people it hits. The beautiful souls it tries to destroy. Yet truly, the word is not hateful. The word itself is not bad. It is a simple descriptor made of three little letters. F, A, and T. I am ready to rip that word out of the mouths of the sour and disgusted and make it into something that will lift me up, build me up, and set me free to be: